The expression of independence is a growing narrative within society, with more and more people owning their sexuality and pleasure. It’s liberating, but it also creates two poles of relationships: the casual and the serious.
I have plenty of my ex-boyfriends’ clothes. A navy reversible Lacoste coat, a vintage striped red knit Ralph Lauren sweater, a big gray T-shirt with the words “PEACE TAKES COURAGE” sprawled across the chest. I wear them all the time.
Reuniting and settling down with the person on the receiving end of our first genuine “I love you” is a sweet thought. In the chaos that is one’s often lifelong experience with love, dating, and sometimes marriage, defaulting to the partner who introduced us to all these feelings may seem like a scenario straight out of a dream.
We are leaving the season of coupling up behind and transiting to the period of literal and figurative romantic blossoming. Now it’s time to question whether our winter-era mindset of monogamy has left us ready for the potential dates to come.
All of our intentions are harmless. We don’t deliberately choose to introduce these falsehoods into the relationship. The problem really lies in the fact that we all adopt personas to please our partners, so we aren’t presenting our genuine selves.
At the end of the day, someone’s sexuality, or any way they define themselves, is a part of who they are as a whole. To exclude it, or to initially misinterpret how they identify, is hurtful and discredits who they are.