10 Signs Your Friend Needs You

Most of us are probably inclined to let our friends work through a bad day by themselves. After all, we don’t want to feel intrusive. However, there are some instances when a friend is actually hoping the first move isn’t made by them; it’s just a matter of them fearing emotions will flow out (by the way, it’s okay if they do). If you feel a disconnect in the atmosphere around your friend, work through it by being aware of body language or peculiar actions. They might not even know they’re doing it; it's the problem talking.

Here’s what to look out for if you think a friend really needs to talk:

  1. Too much time on their phone. Unusual wordlessness combined with eyes glued to the screen indicates they are looking to escape and are trying to avoid eye contact, for fear of revealing the depth of their sadness.
  2. Too much drinking. Alcohol is a potent truth serum, but its also a depressant. Friends who overstep their limits are trying to quell their inner storm while attempting to loosen up without appearing overly needy. Try to sit them down.
  3. Keeping their head or hair in their hands. This is a tactile thing, trying to grab onto oneself as a security motion. It means they’re stressed in more ways than one.
  4. Sad Facebook/Tumblr/Twitter statuses: Okay, kind of a giveaway, but even a passive-aggressive status indicates uncertainty of how to seek solace in the real world.
  5. Abnormal oversleeping: If it gets to the point where they miss a class, something is awry.
  6. Looking out the window: If a friend is looking down and is glancing out the window, it’s a metaphor; they’re looking for a way out but feel trapped.
  7. Aggressive pacing from place to place, combined with intermittent huffing while sitting down, is a giveaway that the pressure has gotten to them.
  8. Heavy silence during an innocent activity, like playing a video game.
  9. Snapping during innocuous conversation (ex. getting into a major fight about how a word is pronounced) indicates rage not at you, but at something that built up over time.
  10. Picking at their hands or face. It’s a nervous condition, but doing it to excess turns it into something involving self-perfecting to divert from inner pain.