The Power of Playing the Field

Emerson is like a giant orgy. Well, okay, people may not all be having sex with each other in the same room at the same time, but it’s happening all around us. Such is the nature of attending a liberal arts school with a progressive student population. And it’s great. But sex with the same person can get boring after a while. (Unless you’re already in a sexually adventurous relationship with someone, in which case, more power to you!) But for all the single lovers out there, it’s important to have a wide variety of sexual partners so you never get tired of the same old sex positions. Not many people know how to perform every move in the Kama Sutra and tend to default to the same few moves. A wide variety of lovers maximizes the amount of positions you will be able to experience. If you constantly change up the players in your bedroom, how could the sack ever become boring? Answer: It can’t. Having a rotation of multiple partners is the best way to switch up the players in your sex life. Pick a few people who you believe would be DTF whenever you are and put them in a mental list. Then each weekend simply hit up a different person on your list. Congrats, you’ve done it— you’re juggling multiple lovers. A nice bonus is that if one of your booty calls is busy and can’t ravage you when you want, skip over them and go to the next one on the list. It’s all about options, really.

But with all this power comes great responsibility. Some words of advice: don’t double book. Meaning, don’t schedule more than one of your lovers in one night. If you have plans to sleep with two people at different times on the same night, things could get sticky—literally and metaphorically. Sex is usually different every time and not something you can put a timer on. If you plan on sleeping with someone at one time, how can you book another person afterward? Unless you’re a really good planner, you might end up running late

from one date to the other, or a suitor might arrive earlier than you expected while you still have another one under your covers. That situation doesn’t end well for anyone. You risk losing two people on your list in one night! Not worth the risk, darlings.

With the risk of your sexual partners finding out about each other, whether by accident like in the situations previously described, or by word of mouth, you may just want to let each of your partners know that you are not exclusive. This way they really can’t be mad at you if they ever find out you’re seeing someone else, as they had fair warning. They might even support the idea of seeing other people.

Another disclaimer: remember to practice safe sex! Talk to each of your partners before jumping into bed with them to make sure they don’t have any STIs you should know about. Condoms are available at any convenience store and birth control pills can be obtained for free at Planned Parenthood. Let’s be smart, now.

So— off you go! Start making that mental list of lovers and invite them over whenever you have an itch that needs to be scratched. Just don’t go too crazy.